How to Write your Own Wedding Vows

RedWater Events
July 16, 2021

There isn't a lot of wiggle room when you want to write your perfect wedding vows. But with the proper preparation and research, you can be ready to spout the most romantic vows possible on your big day.

What are Wedding Vows?

Wedding vows are pledges or promises that are spoken during the marriage ceremony. They are not legally binding, but they do symbolize each partner's intent. While not every marriage has wedding vows, they have become especially popular in Western marriages.

What are wedding vows if not a declaration of love? Vows are a way for each partner to express their commitment, their love for their spouse, and how they mean to honor that love.

Traditional vows follow a rigid structure and usually bring some religious aspect into the marriage. However, modern wedding vows don't need to be so inflexible. 

If you're not particularly religious or just want to say something from the heart, writing your own vows is the perfect way to announce your devotion. 

Wedding Vows Template for the Bride

bride saying wedding vows
Annette Isabelle Photography

In considering how to write vows, you can't always rely on what other people have written. Your wedding vows should reflect your personality, but also the relationship itself.

Writing wedding vows doesn't have to be difficult. Wedding vows for her should include what you value most about your partner and how you will strive to keep the promises you make them.

What tone do you want your vows to be?

Consider romantic wedding vows, humorous vows, or simple, heartfelt ones that reflect you.

What troubles have you already weathered as a couple?

You don't have to get into any grisly details, but mentioning how you've overcome obstacles together can make you more confident that you can take on the future.

Who are you happy to have with you on this day?

Referring to your present family and friends who are sharing your special day can let them know you're grateful for what they've done for you.

How much do you love your partner?

Don't forget to tell your partner you love them. Though a wedding in itself is a declaration of love, marriage vows are the ultimate reminder. 

What promises will you make?

A wedding vow is a promise at its heart, so decide what you want to pledge to your partner. 

Wedding Vows Template for The Groom

groom saying wedding vows
Katie Huff Photography

Romantic, long-winded, or simple wedding vows are all possible to achieve with a little preparation and understanding of what you want to say. 

Just like the wedding vows for the bride, wedding vows for the groom need to include what you like about your partner and how you will work with them over your marriage.

What kinds of feelings do you want your partner to feel?

First, consider how you want your partner to react. Do you want them to feel your love? Do you want them to laugh? If you want to simply say "I love you" or even renew wedding vows, the overall tone should reflect your intent.

How do you feel about facing obstacles ahead?

Telling your partner how you expect to handle obstacles together will bring confidence into your relationship and speak to your trust for the other person.

Who else do you want to acknowledge on this day?

If your family has come from far away, mention the effort they took to spend this day with you.

How does your partner make you feel?

Little details of why you love them can make your vows all that more romantic and special.

What do you pledge to do in your marriage?

Decide what you plan on committing to for your partner, and don't be afraid to get personal. 

Sample Wedding Vows

When you research how to write wedding vows, you might be tempted to use words someone else has written. But any sample wedding vows you look at should be for inspiration only, otherwise, they won't be your vows, you'll be reciting someone else's.

Wedding Vows Examples:

1. [Name]. I am so happy to be standing here with you today, in front of all our loved ones. After everything we've been through, I know we can withstand anything life throws at us. 

I love you more every day, and I promise I will be loving and kind every day of our marriage, and to never take a bad day out on you, and to cherish you for as long as I live.

2. [Name], I promise to be your emotional support, your financial support, and your physical support, just like when you broke your toe and I had to carry you to the hospital. 

You've taught me so much about what it is to love, and I want to give that back to you as long as we live. I'm so thankful to be here with all our family, and even though your parents are currently trapped somewhere in the desert because of a flat tire, I know they're here with us in spirit. 

I love you, despite your terrible taste in shoes.

3. [Name], I've always known that love wasn't something that I could choose. But you are the kindest, most passionate, most selfless person I have ever met, and more than that, you're my best friend. 

I'm so lucky to have fallen for you. And even though I did fall, you have taught me that I don't need to be afraid to choose what my life is like or who I have in it. Because of that, I pledge to give my love to you no matter what comes our way. I choose you.

4. [Name]. When I first met you, I thought you were an idiot. But over time, you showed me what you're really capable of. 

You've grown from an immature 18-year-old with a terrible haircut to a mature person who I can rely on. And your hair's gotten better, too. 

I promise to treat you like the amazing superhuman you are, to always make you pancakes on Sundays, and to never forget to kiss you goodbye when you leave the house. 

Tips for Writing your Vows

Whether you're writing vows for your first wedding or planning on writing renewed wedding vows, there are a few things you can keep in mind for crafting the perfect verses. 

Set-Up Guidelines

Guidelines will help both sets of vows sound more cohesive. The length, tone, and intimacy of your vows don't need to match exactly, but they shouldn’t be completely opposite either. 

If one of you shows up with a twenty-page, incredibly tearful promise, and the other simply says, "I love you a lot, let's get hitched", you're in for an awkward reception.

Keep Them Secret

Guidelines aside, you shouldn't tell your spouse-to-be what you're putting in the vows. This is a promise you're making to them, and it should come completely from your heart. It'll be much more special to them if they don't know what you plan to say ahead of time.

Practice

Practicing your vows will decrease the chance that you stumble over the words or speak too quickly. You want your partner to hear you and understand what you say, so rehearsing a clear speech with the proper pauses and enunciations will only enhance your delivery.

Prepare

Allow yourself time to do rewrites and practice speaking. You don't want to find yourself at a literal loss for words the night before your wedding, so planning ahead is vital.

The sooner you begin on your vows, the more wedding vow ideas you can come up with.

Wedding Event Planning

While we won’t be able to help you write your vows, if you are still in the planning stages of your wedding and are looking for event space or more, contact us today and one of our helpful wedding consultants at RedWater Events will assist you!